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The Phases of Love

We all in our school must have studied the phases of the moon, at least once. Of course we did. At that age, I didn’t give much thought beyond learning what was taught just to pass exams. The moon was merely another chapter in the textbook, and I forgot about it later (hehe). As the summers passed, I gradually began to understand the phases of the moon in a way most people might not. Who doesn’t like to look at the clear sky at night? Stare at the stars until you forget the count? Or draw imaginary characters by mapping them together? I was that kid. I am that kid, actually. Even now, I look at the sky as if one day it might disappear and I would lose the opportunity to connect with my soulmate. Someone once told me that if you look at the night sky and think about your loved one, they, too, are thinking about you. (i forgot who told me this, but thanks for feeding my delusions. I shall find you one day threat )  I cannot help but think about how love can be simply seen in every po...

The Silent Struggles of Students: Anxiety Behind the Grades


Sometimes, it hits me in the middle of the class—I’m just sitting there, trying to listen, when suddenly my chest tightens. I’m not in danger, of course, how can I be? I am sitting in a classroom which is supposed to be the safest place. Yet my body acts like I am.

Lately, even small class tests, just 15 marks, feel like they are holding the weight of my entire future. It’s strange how something so small can feel so enormous in my mind. Sometimes, a stray thought slips in, “What if I fail?” And then suddenly, it’s all I can hear. My heart pounds hard and fast, like I’m running, even though I’m sitting perfectly still, trying to listen and trying to learn. That’s when I realised, this isn’t just simple nervousness. This is something deeper. And it has a name. Well, actually two. 

Academic stress is the bigger shadow, which is the constant pressure to perform well, to meet deadlines, to live up to the expectations (both others’ and my own). It’s steady and heavy, like carrying an invisible weight every single day. Exam anxiety, though, is like a sudden storm. It hits right before or during tests—racing heartbeat, shallow breathing, trembling hands and spiralling thoughts. It’s more acute, more physical and more immediate.


Researchers have found this difference too. A recent systematic review noted how ongoing academic pressure is linked with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and sleep problems among adolescents, showing how deeply this day-to-day weight can shape mental health (Steare et al., 2023). On the other hand, another study traced how academic stress can trigger anxiety symptoms especially when paired with physiological hyperarousal, like the pounding heart and sweaty palms I feel, and when students fear losing social acceptance (Trevethan et al., 2021).


It all makes sense. My stress often shows up not just as racing thoughts but also as physical symptoms. Sometimes, I even get headaches, nausea or an urge to cry for no reason. It’s like there is an invisible wall between me and my notes, where nothing goes in no matter how long I stare. It’s because it feels like ‘I’ might not be enough. 


Another layer of this, which I have only recently understood, is how much perceived expectations matter. A study found that students who felt higher parental expectations also reported more academic stress, especially when they feared disappointing their families (Talha et al., 2020). That struck me deeply because my parents aren’t pressuring me, they are actually the most supportive figures I have, but the pressure I think they expect from me can become just as loud. 


So even when I have no major exams, the fear of failure lingers like background noise. It doesn’t wait for exam day. It slips into my ordinary days, when I am just reading, when I am supposed to be relaxing, when I dare to take a short break and immediately feel guilty about it. Reading these studies almost feels like reading my own thoughts. It makes me realise that the weight I feel isn’t a personal flaw, it’s part of a bigger pattern, one that many students experience but rarely speak about. And maybe, understanding that is the first step to breathing again.


Sometimes, I try to gently place my hand over my chest when the panic rises, like I am reminding my heart to slow down. I breathe deeply until my body starts to believe me,  “You are safe. You are okay”. It sounds small, maybe even silly, but in those moments, it feels like reclaiming control from something that keeps running ahead of me. 


I know that there are many students who experience such issues but don’t know how to deal with them. We rarely speak about this with anyone because the reply we get is, “Arre beta, exam humne bhi diye hai, hume kabhi pressure feel nahi hua”. These responses make it even more difficult for us to open up about what we are dealing with. 


If you’ve felt this too—if you’ve ever been exhausted from just trying to keep up, trying to stay calm even after hearing such responses—please know that you’re not alone. Academic stress and exam anxiety are not signs of weakness. They are signs that you care, maybe more than you realise. And just know that they are not permanent. It’s just an exam, and we can deal with this together. Support exists. Spaces exist where students can speak honestly about what they are going through without fear of judgement. 


Apex Psychological Solution is one such space. They offer counselling for stress, exam anxiety and emotional regulation, and they work closely with students to create personalised coping strategies. Through workshops and one-on-one sessions, they help students build tools to handle pressure without losing themselves to it. 


Because your mental well-being is worth more than any grade. And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is simply ask for help. 



References 


Steare, T., Gutiérrez Muñoz, C., Sullivan, A., & Lewis, G. (2023). The association between academic pressure and adolescent mental health problems: A systematic review. Journal of Affective Disorders, 339, 302–317. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2023.07.028

Talha, M. A., Qi, X., & Rizwan, M. (2020). Cultural Impact of Perceived Parental Expectations on Students’ Academic Stress. ANNALS of SOCIAL SCIENCES and PERSPECTIVE, 1(2), 53–65. https://doi.org/10.52700/assap.v1i2.25

Trevethan, M., Jain, A. T., Shatiyaseelan, A., Luebbe, A. M., & Raval, V. V. (2021). A longitudinal examination of the relation between academic stress and anxiety symptoms among adolescents in India: The role of physiological hyperarousal and social acceptance. International Journal of Psychology, 57(3). https://doi.org/10.1002/ijop.12825


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